A gem I found in Deep Web

I want this to be a lesson about asking hacker stuff without knowing shit (I don’t wanna say I know shit, but the real thing I learned for sure is I don’t know shit). But this is the kind of answers you would usually get of such an question:

Question:

Blackhats: what’s your “code red!” backup plan for being raided?

What I’m really asking is how do you plan on protecting yourself and the evidence if you hear the front door being kicked in? I know that in nealry all cases there will be some loud knocking and a few moments of time. What I do passively:

  • encrypted OS
  • encrypted file containers inside OS
  • all evidence is contained within this infrastructure

I prepare to do every time I hear a noise:

  • force shutdown computer
  • disconnect power to ensure RAM is wiped of all encryption keys
  • How would you rate my plan, and what do you do different?

Answers:

“Like me I have about 8-10 highly trained cats, that trip people who are going up and down stairs. I also have a couple roosters that roam the property and cock-a-doodle-doo anytime the federalis show up. I have a special place I hide…I wont give to much information but it involves a corner and a lamp shade. Ive been raided 5 times and it always ends with at least 3 taking a fall down the stairs a rooster that follows close behind constantly cock-a-doodle-dooing and lots of disappointment.”

“Laser tripwires and cameras all over my fortress high in the andes. When it detects LE thermite is released to destroy all my electronics. Theres no internet up here so I handwrite all my tor packets and tie them to a pigeon which flies to my guard node in a nearby village. The pigeon knows if he betrays me there is thermite on him too. Its really the only way to be safe.”

“I am living on a ship in the middle of the ocean. I have a big rock and all my stuff is chained to it. So if something happens I will just drop it. Submarines cannot go that deep. It’s very cost effective.”

“I have a giant, industrial sized microwave I stole from an Olive Garden that can fit all my monitors and mainframes so I can just nuke ‘em when the time comes”

“Suicide, if i got the chance.”

“First off I wear gloves so no fingerprints. My opsec pretty much consists of me sitting outside of the police station in my car with black tinted windows so they can’t see me. I also use their free wifi so it will look like a cop is doing the crime not me, I have someone who has agreed to eat my hard drive if I somehow get raided. All I have to Yell is “OPSEC” and hand them the drive and they will do the rest.”

“I have motion detecting sharks with “laser beams” . My mini-me will chew on the ankles of any intruders, hindering their ability to run for my top secret server room. If they manage to get to it before the stick of TNT detonates, the sharks with “laser beams” will take care of them. Of course, Powers always seems to defeat my security, no matter how elaborate.”

“I just use my two patrol squads. the first are fembots, the second are 20yo female virgins bodyguards. they work in shifts. while one squad is patrolling outside the house, the other are keeping me entertained inside. you will forgive me for not providing a more detailed description.”